Slow Bleed

A rough-draft microfiction inspired by the premiere shootings in Aurora, CO, July 20, 2012.

I dropped to the floor of the theater a few seconds after the screaming started. The disjointed explosion of automatic weapons filled the space, forced its way into my ears like battering rams into a siege. My head had been forcibly overrun—and not just by the sound of gunfire. The sight of the dirty theater floor affronted my eyes, the smell of Marie’s perfume from a few inches away made me gag. As I lay on the ground, I put my hands up over my head and tried with all of what little courage I could grasp to stare hard at the pair of bejeweled glasses lying shattered and stained on the floor in front of my face. I reached to grab Marie’s hand and gave it a squeeze, and I waited for her to return it.

It seemed like forever the shooting went on. They told us later it was only forty-five seconds, that they began leading survivors out of the theater after only a minute and a half. But they don’t know. You see, they weren’t there. The truth is, it was endlessly longer. It took hours for the pool of Marie’s blood to reach the rims of those glasses, and it was what must have been a day before it touched my skin as I pressed my chin fervently into the floor.

NOTE:

I know there is no way I could know what those who were present went through unless I was there too. I am not trying to trivialize or sensationalize what happened. I am merely examining my own thoughts on the event through writing, and there is no hidden agenda. Nobody should take this as anything but fiction. My prayers go out to the victims and their families, Christian and Non-Christian alike.

Passion 2012

Hello to the most likely very small (if existent at all) group of people out there who read this blog!

I wanted to share a little something with the internet about a huge cause that Jesus has laid on my heart through the ministry of Passion 2012 and Do Something Now. For those of you who don't know, Do Something Now is a giving-based branch of Passion City Church in Atlanta, Georgia. For the past 15 years, the Passion movement has been gaining momentum in the lives of college students--well, mostly Christian college students, but we pray that that will change drastically--and Do Something Now researches causes and presents them at the event for students to give money to. I have been to Passion for three years in a row, and each time the students have given more freely. At Passion 2010, the goal was around $500,000. We gave around $650,000. And a donation from a loaded couple who was in attendance matched us dollar for dollar, bringing us to $1.3 million. At Passion 2011, I don't remember the goal honestly, but we raised again nearly $1.3 million. Without a dollar for dollar donator. So, enter Passion 2012, where the number of students in attendance has gone from 25,000 to 44,000. Over $2,600,000 was raised (plus another $500,000 from an adult donator putting the grand total at over $3 million).

So...ALL those numbers because I'm always excited about Do Something Now. College students are known notoriously for not being passionate. Not only do I know this to be false, but I have seen it from around the country, where they are made aware of a cause and rise up to at least do SOMETHING. No, Do Something Now doesn't solve problems. But it rescues PEOPLE from them. Even if it just rescued ONE person, it would be worth it.

What was the cause this year? Slavery.

It's ok to be confused.

Until this week (I failed in the department of researching the cause before I came), I thought like so many in the world do that slavery was on the decline, that it was a problem that had been dealt with and was dying out. It isn't.

Today there are 27 million people enslaved around the world, even in our own United States. When they told us that at Passion 2012, I felt like I had been slapped in the face. Who forgot to mention this? How did this get swept under the rug? How do we stand unaware that the modern day slavery enslaves more people than EVER before, more people than the ENTIRE African slave trade? There is something wrong with that! Right now, more people are suffering in forced labor, sex slavery, and other kinds of enslavement around the world!

God doesn't want that, but what He DOES want is His people to stand up and do something about it. I don't know what you think about slavery, or even what you think about God. But please, stand up and do something. Even if it's just raising awareness on your campus. In your office (can you do that?). In your city. Whatever. Give money to an organization like A21 or IJM. Go serve with an organization that works in slavery prevention, or rescues or restores slaves. Fight for freedom, because it is not as widespread as we think it is.

Night/Day

Hey, anyone who is so kindly reading this blog that I just started! Which is most likely nobody right now but that's beside the point. I wanted to share a lyric that has been very inspirational in my life. It's by my favorite band as well, mae, so that's awesome. Here it is!

I've been dreaming such a long time
And I've been waiting for the sunshine
But all my friends they say I'm getting by with sleeping in
They say I'm sleeping in

You know whenever I try I want to get it right
But I distract my focus and blur my own sight
'Cause I've convinced myself that my best can only come in the moonlight
And I keep sleeping in
I keep on sleeping in
And missing something

(Close your eyes before daylight breaks)

There are things about me I just can't ignore
I know I want to change and I see that door
On the other side daylight decides there will be war with sleeping in
Oh, I know there'll be no more sleeping in

I wait, I wait, I wait only in jest
I wait, I wait, I wait with no need to rest I wait
"The day, the day, the day will come again," I say
A ray of light can only get in if I say
I've been putting off this purification: a rebirth and a regeneration inside of me
And I've been saying "no" for far too long, even though something brand new is coming out of me

I'm going to wake up, wake up every morning and then decide
I'm going to wake up, wake up every morning and make it mine
Rain or shine

I wake, I wake, I wake and greet the day
The light is on, the change is made, I can see my way
The day, the day, this day has come again
Each ray of light will make its way into the core of me
I always knew that I was missing something; I know this time that I will leave nothing up to chance
And in the wake of this brand new day I see the light and I feel the sun and I'll do it all again tomorrow

I'm going to wake up, wake up every morning and then decide
I'm going to wake up, wake up every morning and make it mine

To me the song speaks to a realization that one is not living one's life to its fullest potential, and a commitment to doing so. In my relationship with the Lord (and in my relationships with others), I have stood by and let some things slide, and I have neglected still other things. This is my chance to make a better day, a better relationship, a better life. My chance to love better, God and myself included.

I realize this is a bare-bones post, but I'm pretty tired and will be going to bed soon. I just wanted to share a little something so there would actually be something on here. In the future I'll probably share some of my own lyrics, as well as possibly short stories, poetry, and even maybe some personal writing (standard blogging, I suppose). I look forward to writing to you, my nebulous online audience.

Later,

Shane

Does it work?

Yes.